Friday, September 7, 2012

A lesson from Colossians

Today, as I have been doing stuff, I have been listening to the book of Colossians on repeat. Good grief, this book is really challenging. It's spot on with almost everything I am struggling with right now...

Col 1

...We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. 

Endurance----Patience... 2 things I am needing so badly. I realized the other day that half of the time this summer that I have been dealing with grief, I have been trying to wish my circumstances away. I long to be the person who gets to go out and buy a card and sign it, stamp it and mail it... or the one who makes a meal and brings it by... not the one who has to deal with the loss and sorrow and anger. The Lord has showed me that I can't wish it away, but I can pray for healing and endurance and patience. I can submit myself to His plan and walk in this path He has laid out for me and even bear fruit.

....May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father.  
...and you will overflow with thankfulness
...So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within is the time to get rid of anger, rage...

I told my Mom the other day, as I was struggling with some huge anger issues that have sprang up this week, that I felt like God owed me something. "Took my baby? Now give me something to make up for it". Dumb.  As I have started to deal with my bitterness this week, the Lord has replaced some of those feelings with some peace, some contentment and hope to keep going and see what the Lord has in store. I don't want to walk around with a chip on my shoulder and a sense of entitlement. 
I have been challenged to try trrrrrrrryyyyyyyy to simply enjoy what the Lord has done. Enjoy the (extra) time with my hubs that we weren't expecting, enjoy trying to find a "purpose", enjoy ministry, enjoy family....being filled with joy, always thanking the Father.

...He has enabled you to share in the inheritance ...For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness ...who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.
It's sometimes been so difficult to find things to be thankful and grateful for this summer, but just that verse above has convicted me today. Simply having salvation, knowing Jesus, being chosen to be His daughter...should be enough for me to be thankful about, giving me hope to move on, out of bitterness. Also just being reminded of how Jesus purchased my freedom gives me the nudge I need to not give up in working through this suffering of mine, since Jesus went over and above and beyond anything I could even imagine to have me with Him in Paradise.
I get so caught up... ugh.

 ...I am telling you this so no one will deceive you with well-crafted arguments.

I was talking with a very good friend last night who reminded me that although the ways I am feeling is normal, it is only the enemy who wants to keep me stuck in these very human emotions. My self and the enemy are very good at deception, talking me into things that "make sense" "feel right" etc when it comes to handling all these emotions and feelings from losing lil Greyson. I am not expected not to feel certain ways, but to handle those feelings in a godly way and maybe even quickly?

...bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

...Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. I also pray that I have more grace in this continuing situation, too.

Sooooo, if you haven't read Colossians in it. There's way more in there. I have really been challenged, convicted and hopefully changed by meditating on these verses.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father

Now, on a few lighter notes:

*This week I celebrated losing all but 2 pounds from Greyson! That means, I lost about 40 pounds in 12 weeks. Not bad. Thanking Jesus for helping me get that off quickly. Hoping to lose 5-7 more this month, we'll see. I've done it by drinking high protein smoothies for breakfast/lunch and eating mostly fresh foods (like 90%) plus walking/swimming.

*Adam & I are helping with a Youth Retreat coming up. :)

*We are also working on beginning a Young Couples Small Group in November. We're pretty excited about leading this.

Here's a new hat I got for $4 today....
(It looks like I have an attitude, and I might, but not really. Ha.)

And, that's a wrap....


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