Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Baby #2

I go way longer than I ever mean to between blogging.

I don't know if that means that I am... "better" because I don't have much to say... or if I am busier...or if I am at a place of not much emotion or thought about anything at all.

All I know is that I still feel withdrawn a lot of the time. And I like it that way. My hubby and I went on a 10 day vacation last week, didn't really tell anyone where we were going on when we were coming back. I left my phone plugged into the wall almost the whole time and just enjoyed what was in front of me: My sweet hubby, my growing belly, and the beautiful beach.

I think I am finally beginning to "enjoy" life as God has given it to me. Finally starting to be reconciled to His plan. Not that I wasn't before, but it was such a struggle. I still mourn my baby girl all the time, but I think the Lord is answering my prayer to enjoy life...

"God keeps such people so busy enjoying life that they take no time to brood over the past." Ecc 5:20

I will never forget Greyson. I just have to move forward in what God has. It's such a hard concept to grasp and try to explain or write about. I know this would be much much much harder if there was not another baby so closet to popping out....

Speaking of baby #2... we found out a few weeks ago that God has decided to give us another baby girl!!!!!!! We were in complete shock at the Ultra Sound. I guess we had just convinced ourselves it was a lil boy in there...and we were to the point were we were ok with waiting for another lil girl and excited about a boy.... but wow.

So, we are looking forward to her arrival!

During the appointment, I was diagnosed with Partial Placenta Previa... another Ultra Sound in 5 weeks at around week 28 to see if the placenta has moved. Squishy (her nickname) implanted so low, so I have to be very careful so I don't start bleeding. Praying that this birth is exactly what needs to happen. I am surprisingly open and flexible about it. My only goal is to get that baby girl in my arms, healthy and....to stay...for hopefully longer than her big sister. But I am still trying to get to a place of full trust and surrender with baby #2. "God, your timing, not mine...her days are numbered...I trust you..." Difficult, but necessary. We are so thankful and so excited. 2 baby girls in 1 year! Wow.

Having another girl...actually makes me miss lil G way more than I thought, and I don't even have this baby girl yet... but something about it "upsets" me in a weird way. Like, I so wish lil G could be here... kinda makes me want to have another baby right away after this baby... to experience that. Even though pregnancy is not my friend. Haha...

We are thankful and preparing... I cannot wait for July.  Baby girl #2 looks a lot like her big sis... I cannot wait to see her face.

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