...today I did not cry. First time in 12 straight days. Saturday, Sunday & Monday, I thought I was reliving June 13th all over again... I couldn't drive without crying or go on my walk without crying...I couldn't even think without crying.
Didn't help that well-meaning people were coming up and hugging us at our church down here, or knowing I'd have to "face" certain girl friends down here for the first time. One came up to me at church and asked me how I was about 5x. I said I was fine.
She called my bluff, made me cry so much. She said she cried during the service for me, because in the immediate row behind us were 2 new young mom's feeding and laughing and whispering to their babies during service. I prayed to be deaf.
It has been good to be back in Sarasota. We have been so busy. I prayed for that, knowing I was coming here without a baby and without a job. I go almost non-stop. There is always something to do. Our friends have all wanted to plan things, which has kept us busy on the weekends and during the weeknights. We especially have loved reconnecting with some really truly great friends, a hubs and wife couple exactly our ages, we've already hung out with them numerous times and they are desperately trying to get us to buy a house right down the street from theirs.
I have been meeting with 3 different ministries around Sarasota this week; a pregnancy center, a Senior living facility and Girl's Inc. Tried to cover all age groups. Lovin Girl's Inc the best. I start there on Monday. They actually offered me a job during the summer months. Haha.
Today I went to the Senior's place, it's called Windsor Reflections. They gave me a quick tour and wanted me to start asap. Which I was not prepared for. I had wore a skirt and had totally forgot I was there to lead "fitness" classes. But it turned out ok, because it was literally me just having to YELL, which I hate, to these cute old people while we watched an 80's video with a woman in a full bright red leotard do chair exercises. I think I am going to try it again, just do crafts or something with them. But after my last job, I kinda wanted to have a huge distance between myself and older people. (Bleh, think lots of gross stuff, then stop or you'll vomit)
Even today, apparently I (of course me) sat on a leather chair that a previous resident had peed on, it had dried and no one (I do not know why) had cleaned it up yet?? So, that was gross. And seriously, why me?
The facility is brand spankin new, opened in July, so it's not gross.
Then a guy in his late 70's maybe named Bud Roughead came to do his chair exercises, but half way through he had to go "take a whiz" (Am I even spelling that right?) and after he came back, he announced to me that "He missed". I was like, thank you God Almighty that I am *not* required to clean that up. I am a volunteer, I get to watch and listen to all the horrors, instead of before, being Director of Everything Disgusting.
Tomorrow I am heading to the pool with a friend and her 2 little girls. At our Condo, we have 2 pools and 1 hot tub. I wish I could transfer everyone that I love to ...here... We are so split in half between Indy and Florida.
Tonight we grilled out and Adam's made me watch the beginning of "Alien", gross and scary.
Finally our Condo is feeling like "home". I definitely cried the first night. I was scared of the 30 yr old rose flannel sheets on our bed. I took them off and covered the nasty blue couch with them so I could sit on it. Jesus us so nice to me, know what I needed in order to calm down and chill out, I was all prepped to go buy King Size Sheets on Sunday, when I looked in the closet and found brand new ones. They are the grossest orange color ever, but made me so happy. I put them on, not caring about the fact that they probably came from a bug infested factory in India and slept happily until the next day when I washed them. Adam puts up with me. He knows I am just hormonal and overly emotional. I asked him not to judge me about the couch situation, he did not. :)
Anyway, we have an awesome view of a huge lake and surprisingly, some privacy for being in the middle part of like 15 condo's. There is a YMCA right next door to us, I have been walking there and then walking on their nature path. So nice. It's been 85' almost everyday.
I could've swore there was more I wanted to write about. I promise there will be a *deep* Spiritual one next time, but for now, that's all I got.
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